Be Kinder Than the Situation Requires
by Andy Lee
I work four 10-hour days, which means I get one weekday off. That day changes on a rotating schedule, and I usually reserve it for errands, appointments, and all the things that can’t be handled on a Saturday or Sunday.
This week, it was Wednesday.
I decided to finally check a task off my list—getting my Real ID. In Tennessee, it’s not the DMV; it’s called the Driver Services Center—which, as the name suggests, exists solely for things like driver’s licenses, knowledge and vision tests, MVR driving records, and even handgun permits.
When I arrived, the place was packed. The parking lot was full, and cars were lined up and down the street for two blocks. Inside? Standing room only. The air was heavy with impatience, a quiet frustration shared by every single person in that room—including the employees.
Still, I had nowhere else to be, and I figured if there was ever a good day to sit through this process, a cold, cloudy Wednesday was it.
People Watching and an Old Lesson
After checking in—just to get in line to be waited on—I leaned against the wall, earbuds in, listening to music. A few minutes later, an empty chair sat unnoticed long enough that I finally took it.
Then, I did what I always do in these situations. I people-watched.
It’s a habit I picked up from my dad years ago. People-watching is one of the most entertaining free activities available, and this was prime territory.
Nobody was smiling. Nobody wanted to be there—especially the employees. Every so often, a woman who worked there would step out and make an announcement:
- “Our computer system is down, so no knowledge tests can be given at this time.”
- “Don’t come up here asking when your number will be called—I don’t know. It takes as long as it takes.”
Each time, frustration levels rose. Some people sighed, some muttered, and a few had choice words to say about the situation.
That’s when I heard my grandmother’s voice in my head.
“Be kinder than the situation requires.”
She used to say that all the time. And at that moment, it hit me—nobody in that room wanted to be there. But I had no idea what else they were carrying with them.
Maybe the irritated guy in the corner had just lost his job.
Maybe the exhausted woman tapping her foot had been up all night with a sick child.
Maybe the employee making the announcements was on her last nerve after getting yelled at all morning.
It was a reminder that not everything is about me.
I decided then and there that I was going to be extra kind and gracious to every single person I interacted with. Not just polite. Intentional.
A Simple Moment of Connection
When my number was finally called, I walked up to the window where a woman—probably older than me—was waiting. She looked tired. Not just physically, but the kind of tired that comes from doing the same repetitive task for years while dealing with frustrated people all day.
She asked what I needed, and I handed her my paperwork. I made a point to answer in an upbeat tone—not a robotic, transactional one.
I used “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am” because I was raised that way, but also because I figured a little respect might go a long way.
When she told me the cost, I responded without thinking:
“Wow! That’s not as much as I thought it would be!”
The truth is, I had no clue how much it was supposed to be. I hadn’t checked beforehand because I knew I’d have to pay whatever it was.
But that’s when it happened.
She cracked.
A small grin crossed her face, maybe even a tiny chuckle.
As she processed my paperwork, handing me documents to sign and taking my picture, I noticed that her demeanor had shifted slightly.
At the end of the process, she handed me my paperwork and gave me the standard explanation she’s probably recited thousands of times.
I stood there for a beat and then said, “That’s it?!”
She nodded.
“That was relatively painless! I thank YOU for that!”
And that’s when I saw it—the biggest smile I had seen all day.
She laughed out loud and said, “You have a blessed day, Mr. Lee.”
I smiled back. “You too!”
And I walked out feeling… good.
The Takeaways
That simple interaction stuck with me the rest of the day. Not because it was life-changing, but because it was a small, human moment in the middle of a mundane, frustrating task.
There are a few lessons to take from this experience:
- You don’t know what other people are dealing with.
- It’s not all about you.
- Mundane tasks are frustrating for everyone—customers and employees.
- Working with the public is not always a pleasure.
- Leave people better than you found them.
- And, of course, be kinder than the situation requires.
Because once again, my grandma was right.
Just something I was thinking about. See you next time.
I was thinking about... 